I Am in Love

by Discoverer

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about

"I Am in Love" is a somber exploration of what it's like to fall in love, delving into themes of vulnerability, confusion, and healing.

credits

released June 24, 2016

Recording by Tariq Shihadah at the Candy Corn Room in Urbana, IL
Mixing and Production by Colin Althaus and Tariq Shihadah
Mastering by Colin Althaus
Artwork by Laura Shihadah
Photography by Kelsey Greene

Featured musicians: Laura Shihadah, Victoria Shihadah, and Colin Althaus

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about

Discoverer Urbana, Illinois

Discoverer is a musical project started by Tariq Shihadah to explore experiences, dreams, and the world around him. Discoverer isn't about contriving the perfect tune but about finding the songs already inside us and in the communities we live in. The ambient, post-rock influenced music by this self-described "Midwest Folk" artist will draw you into a place of introspection and vulnerability. ... more

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Track Name: Complicated
I’m still complicated,
no more simplified than settled down.
No more black upon white,
I’m a blended palette, explosive grey now.

I still dream like there’s every corner yet to turn,
and I still drink like the taste keeps me calm
and the calmness keeps me sane.
If I could just stay calm for a while
I’d feel the deepness of my bones.

Balance was in the boundaries,
when all is grey the lines are formless bodies.
So I become more and more,
and I’m now so alike to what I had been so curious of.

It will always give me chills,
and I will always wonder,
“Where was I when I was made this way?
And what have I become now, my dear?”
The distance keeps me clear.

Is time so gently too,
turning from you?
What do you want from me?
(Swing low)
if I am worth your time.
Track Name: Don't Look Away
Stop staring at me
the way that you always do.
It’s like you see something
that I’m not able to.

Don’t let the world distract you
from God’s authority over it
or from His care for you.
Just close your eyes.

Stop holding my hand
as if you’ll never let go.
It’s like you know something
that I have never known.

Don’t you worry my dear
you are so thoroughly cared for, sweetheart.
You are so thoroughly cared for,
just stop your striving,
it will be alright.

‘Cause I just need you to love me,
love me with your full force.
I just want you to tell me
and believe that your love is good.

Listen to these words
that I need you to hear:
You have everything it takes
to change my world.

Don’t let this pain distract you
from God’s authority over it
or from His care for you.
Just close your eyes.

‘Cause I just need you to love me,
love me with your full force.
I just want you to tell me
and believe that your love is good,
and believe that my love is good.
Track Name: Illumination
I fear that I can’t be sure of anything at all no more,
‘cause I stood on your shore and dipped my toes.
We do believe something I can’t put my finger on,
and I want to see where your sweetness grows.

You draw me to the edge of what I can understand,
and you wait for my hand, but where did you go?
They cannot say where you came from or where the lies began,
and I don’t understand why that’s still ok.

I feel contrived with choices until now.
I see how but don’t know why,
‘cause illumination is a glow
from fainting embers.
Track Name: Always Forward
Consider her eyes, the softest calm;
remember her tears, the sweetest balm;
when she cried for the day you’d go,
and the mystery of love would not unfold.

Look forward, always forward,
ahead of these rolling mountains.
She’s always looking for you,
she can always be found.

You walked with her and you held her hand,
you whispered her and she whispered back.
But neither one could share, kiss, or hold
the treasure of love that can’t be told.

Look forward, always forward,
ahead of these lonesome mountains.
She’s always looking for you,
she can always be found.

The air refused then to give you breath
to speak a word on the day you left.
Yet she knew all that you couldn’t show,
the anguish of love that can’t let go.

Look forward, always forward,
ahead of these rolling mountains.
She’s always looking for you,
she can always be found.

Just over these hills, my heart
the love you’ve dreamed is waiting there.
Night won’t fall ‘til you’ve held her close,
the cold won’t call for what you love most.

Everyone’s said she’s gone away
to watch eternity from where she lays.
The girl you love will never grow old
when memories refine like silver and gold.

She’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever known,
the woman I kissed in a snow white gown.
Romance yet lingers here, I’m not alone.
The mystery of love will not let go.
Track Name: Too Soft to Be
I am in love inside of my body,
and my body doesn’t understand
how this love works.

Look at how we’re alive,
I’m fragile just like a body.
Do you see how my body is,
how it sits there and holds me inside?

It’s a frail thing to live in.
The delicacy of my skin,
it’s too much for me to think about,
it’s too much to believe in.
Track Name: Honesty (Joy pt. 2)
This song has gotta be honest.
With you, I can talk about this kind of stuff.
It’s hard to admit I’m not okay,
but I know that you’ll love me anyway.

I feel unstable sometimes,
and my depression gets me down.
I’ve found that I am not so sure,
I’ve cried more times than I can count.

I’ve laid myself down helpless on the floor
believing joy was just a lie.
I’ve felt dissolved in melting snow.
It’s just a lie.

You should’ve seen me where I was,
I didn’t think nobody could.
There were times I wanted to just run from here,
but I never would because I’m weak,
and I wasn’t made for this world.

I told myself ‘most every day,
and I still do when it overcomes me,
that in this life I’ll never be okay.